Is it one year already?

Does this mean I cannot use the excuse of pregnancy and delivery for my being fat? So my self-loathing days will begin soon…in another 18 days! Damn! And I also have my profession to think about – nutritionist and fat do NOT go hand in hand. Why did I have to go and choose this profession?

I have started hating people who say “ you know what – you look good even like this”. I am hanging on dearly to my sexy white jeans (size 2 BTW – Oh Yes!) in hope that I will one day be able to easily slip into them again. I hang my skinny clothes right in front of my eyes so that I feel guilty while eating that trifle pudding. All this – not helping much. Maybe I am waiting for my “call”. Some voice from above telling me to get my fat self onto a treadmill.

My little boy turns one year old on 18th March, 2008. Finally the poor chap will see the world in a different light all together – with salt in his food. I am sure first time he tastes it, he is going to be like “damn woman, you have been feeding me crap for the last eight months!” He will have to pay the price for having a nutritionist as a mom. Can you believe that he has already started eating fenugreek leaves in his rice? How can I expect him to love me after having done this to him?

Two New Births

Me and my son

October, 2007 – “Baba”. His first conscious word! I think I'll wait for a little while to get mad that he called out to his dad before he did to me – even though I am the one who feeds him, changes his smelly diapers, wakes up sweating with nightmares about “having forgotten to feed him”, sings lullabies to him while he drifts off to sleep, picks him up when he wakes up startled at a dog’s barking, reads stories to him while he tries to eat the book, bathes him while he squirms and wiggles, removes his booger while he screams in my face… For now, I’ll just enjoy the fact that he said his first word.

September, 2007 – Is it possible to NOT fit back into my jeans? BOHOO :-( How do these film stars and models go back to their zero size 6 months after they’ve had their “bundles of joy”?? I guess they exercise and eat almost nothing huh. See, that was the only thing I didn’t do – exercise and eat nothing. Who would have thunk that just these two things would matter!

August, 2007 - YOHOO! I can fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans! This is the first day after my 4th month of pregnancy that I even dared to try them back on. This is besides the fact that I don’t dare sit down while in them due to risk of a medical emergency.

July, 2007 – FUNNNNN! Coos, smiles, holds, touches, complains, babbles and finally – eats!!

June, 2007 – Of course this will not last forever – feed, burp, change diaper – REPEAT for the next 24 hours (rest of your life??).

May, 2007 – Gosh! Is he smiling at me? Yes, now he recognizes me. His eyes try to follow my voice. Ouch…I think my heart is melting.

April, 2007 – Okay, so now he officially looks like a chimp.

March 18th 2007 – O.M.G!! So this is what the hoohaa is all about. We have a screaming little baby boy! People had warned me that all new borns look like chimps/orangutans – but not this one. He is absolutely precious. He came one month early.

Tooting my own horn

I have started hating it when people say “Oh it’s the pregnancy hormones…I better stay out of your hair”. And I want to say “No, you fool! It is not the hormones – it is just YOU!” Anyway, it has not happened often, but if it does – I am all geared up.

At least this made my “pregnancy hormones” happy – one of my bosses who is going be my ex-boss from tomorrow had to say this to me. “You are an asset to ****** or for that matter to any organization anywhere. Quiet, methodical and 100% delivery on promises. Great!” Isn’t that something?

OMG! Was that a flutter?

That is how I can describe it best – a flutter! I experienced it the first time last evening. I never thought I would have the pleasure of it so soon. I am in my 20th week and I was sure I would have to wait a few more weeks to really feel the sweet little thing move. Unfortunately I felt my first flutter when I was upset. It was almost as if the baby wanted to nudge me and say “get over it”. It happened more than once and it felt awesome. It was totally surreal. However, I still can’t feel it externally. He tried to feel it on my tummy, but I think it’s a bit early for that.

My nausea has finally gone down and I actually find a few things edible. I craved for a chocolate ice cream for the first time this week. So I guess the exciting non-nauseous part of pregnancy is here! We go in for our scan tomorrow. Ideally this would be the right time for us to find out if the little thing is a girl or a boy. Unfortunately, it can’t be done in India :-( I would have loved to know so that I could paint the nursery accordingly. And now would be the perfect time since we are in the process of selecting paint for our house and the rooms. I have decided to go in for shades of orange and yellow.

Hopefully I get back to blogging more often and sometimes about stuff other than pregnancy.

Top button off

Now I have officially started looking pregnant. I can wear my jeans only with the top button off. I am going to wait another 15 days before I buy maternity jeans and a few other maternity clothes. I have decided to not invest too much in them because I am hoping to get back to my original size soon after (I live in hope).

Never had I imagined that would hate chopped up cucumbers as much as I do now. Even thinking of Chinese food makes me sick. And I can’t stand the sight of mustard seeds in food. How weird is that? I am still waiting for the phobia to pass and cravings to kick in…

I have gone back to my walks and am looking forward to starting Yoga classes soon. They say Yoga helps in shortening your labor time and makes you flexible. I seriously doubt that anything actually helps in easier labor, but I am going to try it all.

I have always wanted to be one of those pregnant ladies who look oh-so-cute with their tummies hanging out and wear everything matching right down to their hairclip. But now I wonder – how the hell do they do it when they feel like a cow all the time!! My already “well-endowed” parts are growing way beyond endowment (I know that’s not even the right word in this context – but what the hell – I am pregnant) and that is scaring the living hell out of me.

The best part about being pregnant is that everything is forgiven :-) If you are pissy and rude to someone – it’s the hormones. If you refuse to bring anything to a potluck – you are bound to be tired during pregnancy. If you talk about constipation/diarrhea/puking at a party when the dinner is on – of course, you have the right to! And if you fart/burp in public (which I do not, BTW) – you can blame it on the baby!

The Coming Posts

Would I be talking more about the baby to come and what I am going through? Maybe. Even though not all my posts would probably revolve around my growing tummy, I think I would love to vent out here on my blog about most of the stuff. The only struggle would be decide if I should stick with the cute “growing tummy tales” or if I should include the obnoxious manly burps and excessive peeing…

When the first wave of nausea hit me, I was so excited! I had a proof that I was pregnant! However, as the bouts kept coming, I realized it wasn’t much fun to be nauseous most of the time. It is during the few times I felt better, that I realized how good it is to feel “not” nauseous! I somehow had gotten so used to the nausea that I thought that was the way it was going to be. Well, atleast thankfully I am not puking!

My previously flat tummy (hehehe….no harm in lying, who is going to realize now. For all you know, I did really have a “flat” tummy :-)) has gone taut now and my jeans are fitting more snug since the past one week.

I have to confess that I have NEVER (as far as I can remember) burped loudly in my life. And now, I can easily beat a temple pujari who constantly overeats – I even scared myself the first time. And you know what the sweetest thing about this situation is? My husband does not even blink when I do that – not even BLINK! He behaves like he has been used to this all his life!

If I have achieved my goal of causing a feeling disgust in all of you – my work is done. Why should I suffer alone in my nausea :-)

Turning Point

I think I am never hungry and the minute anyone starts a discussion on food/lunch/dinner/snack, I feel I am going to throw up. However, as I scoop a spoonful of warm rice into my mouth I realize I can finish the whole bowl without wasting a single breath….so, I am hungry after all. I have never felt this tired even when I went on those 6-mile runs. Even though I always knew I was capable of sleeping for eternity, it seems like I have started proving that. I am being taught a lesson for having turned up my nose on people who burped loudly.

What I am trying to say is, we are having a baby! A cute tiny sweet smelling baby in another six months! And we both have already started sharing our responsibilities and most other things equally. I am trying hard to manage my terrible nausea while he succumbs to cravings.